I’m sittin here thinking about where I’ve been over the past few years…things I’ve done. I’ve been to the Bahamas and back…Costa Rica…God, Texas…who woulda thought I woulda gone to texas to see the RHOmeos with the sorors. It wasnt even about the RHOmeos *sorry guys*…it was just about bein around the sorors and trying to lose the stigma of the “in” soror…taking photos *God, I love taking photos*. I even went to Atlanta, on a dum-dum trip. Don’t ask…won’t tell.

Before, when I couldn’t sleep…I’d run to my computer and program my little heart out. It was like…a quick fix. I’d program til my eyes would start to water, and I’d have to shut them. I’m a nerd. I know it. Or I’d write poetry and then re-read it in the morning and think, “WTF was I trippin on last night?” I’m such a dweebo.

So, I’m sittin here lookin around the office. I cleaned up today because one of my coworkers came over to install a router so that I can use my VOIP phone for work, at home. I finally put up all of the photos that I had at the old apartment…and even a new one of my grandparents that I took at Thanksgiving last year. They look so cute. That’s pure and unconditonal love right there. I even put back up the group photo that contains all the people I like, and a broad that I dont like, just because I look cute, and I can cover her face up with a magnet. *Simple Problem Fixed* I’m such a brat.

And yet and still…even though I’m all these things…*Nerd, Dweebo, Brat*…I cant help but wonder what’s next for me. If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the past few years is that I can’t really PLAN things. They just…happen. And you either have to roll with it, or get rolled over. I’ve also learned that no matter how many times trying things have been thrown my way, I’ve managed to lean on God, and let him guide me through.

For the immediate future, I’d like to throw a shoe at one of my professor’s head. But since I can’t do that…maybe I’ll just sit there and soak in what he has to say and try to find a way to apply it. I’ll continue to move forward with my plan to finish in 1 year instead of 2.5 because, I dont like school. No one likes being in school from 6 o’clock to 10 o’clock at night after they’ve worked all day. I dont want to be doing this for ever.

Then maybe I’ll plan a trip somewhere….mmmmm….maybe it’s time to go back to Barbados and reconnect with the family. Or…visit New York for the first time – ride the subway, go to a Broadway play. Or…Europe maybe? I’m a little hesitant with the war and all…but maybe…just maybe.

One thing is for sure. I’ll never stop being me….all of me *Nerd, Dweebo, Brat*….it’s like a ….a….super dork mix….yeah….a CUTE super dork mix.

Good Night…stay blessed.


8 replies to “I Cant Sleep.

  1. princessdominique

    A true Bajan. No wonder we get along. And I can vouch for the nerd/brat thing. I think I’m tettering somewhere in the middle. I’ve never been to Barbados but one day soon like maybe early 2007. Also I’m the same way lately with photos wanting to be photographed in every cute outfit. I dunno. maybe its a dweeb thing so I might as well add that to my list of adjectives.


  2. Luke Cage

    Hey miss Courtney, and good morning. Funny thing. I just had this weird ass post yesterday and one of my commentors sent me an e-mail later that morning stating that I seem to relish being a weirdo and a comicbook geek. I told her that she had no idea. There’s a special novelty in being “different” and those who are genuinely different, not those who force to be perceived that way seem to be the in thing nowadays. Heck, I don’t know how to be anything else :thumbsup:way

    Later last night, I spoke to another friend and we brought up God and I told her that I’ve been seeing his plan for me develop very well the last couple of years as the last decade has been very nice for me. I don’t know where his ultimate plan will take a brotha, but the trip so far has been impressive and interesting indeed.

    When I can’t sleep I draw, but that’s extremely rare that that happens, but on most occasions, I create web pages and design something with PS. Hope you get some rest miss Courtney, and here’s a little tidbit. New York City is AWESOME in the fall.. :razz:


  3. Mari

    I also go to school from 4-9:30pm and I can distinctly hear the sound of my soul crushing from all the boringness of it all. And during the summer too! I recently went to NYC, go there, you’ll love it.


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